the think tank

technology is overwhelming, not just with the numer of things it can do but also with the number of 'know-how's' we do not know. and everytime i'm stuck, it's one hell of an experience... it takes up time, thought and energy, quite literally too. today i found a solution to it. probably not a very unique or new thing. just a discovery for myself. ask the best. get help. get help from the best.

often i do things considered by my friends 'foolishly idealistic' and not in keeping with the fast world where only getting there matters, no matter what way one chooses. and there are often times when i do feel like all the idealism may be isn't really necessary. but then there are times when it pays to do the 'right thing in the right way'. the circumstance that arises out of you having done it all right, where no one can dare point a finger at you, they dare not make things difficult for you, cause you have the power of the right. that is dignity. dignity is not shouting back at someone and telling them how dare they mess with you, it isn't getting a senior to deal with a colleague whoo may have misbehaved. dignity is being a person, an individual, not owing to the post one holds but to the values and methods one practices.

The Indian government is the richest in the world. There was no survey that proved this. Just a headline in the paper- they’re giving 1.5 crores to Abhinav Bindra, the ace shooter who sure has done us proud and more so realized his dreams and the end result of all his endeavours. It’s a miracle- not the individual achievement herein concerned, but the capacity of India to embrace everything it can. Any little to major glory any Indian achieves- India, the Indian government more so, makes no delay in sponging some of it of that person. This is not about belittling any glory but about the fact that how can we call our own we had no role to play in. Khair about the role some other time. This time it’s about the ever-growing riches. So, I was saying, they’re so rich that they dish out money to every athlete who wins, to every family who loses a son, to all the families of the victims of any disasters, etc, etc. fair at the face of it, some for felicitation and some for support. But are any...

I often talk about a person not doing their job well and how that affects the whole system. There’s a gap created in the circuit for each person who is irresponsible and it can’t totally be bridged without some other part of the circuit being affected. As an intern in my hospital, I don’t know what job I’m really doing, I don’t know how my being serious about my work is of any real importance… but then after I have thought all the negativism and all the ‘what am I doing here when all my more ‘ focused and smarter batchmates are up and about with the pgme preparation’

'if god is good he should remove all evil, and if he doesn't is he a god at all?' i debated this topic in school once, it was for the preliminary round of a interschool debating competition. even at that time i had found the topic very interesting and the proposition true. yesterday, i watched 'khuda ke liye', a pakistani film based on how islam is propagated in the wrong light, and how the 'bad' maulvees are using it in a most negative way to misguide the youth of that country into 'jihad'. it was one of those movies which show you such dark sides of life that the tears flow, you feel an emptiness at the futility of life, if only till the lights are not turned on in the hall. so the three of us friends watching the movie felt all that, then we talked about our personal bad 'to do with muslims' experiences. as a people we are possibly too scared of the idea of terrorism and jihad and the like, and rigtly so, that most of us dont take much tim...

i was sitting in the medicine opd... there were fewer patients today... so we were kind of free. i got talking with the chief resident about 'how medical education is going down'... a fairly common topic discussed and forgotten by people at all levels of the medical hierarchy almost everyday. i asked him what he thought of one going aboroad for the post graduation... he was absolutely comfortable with the idea. he held the view that becoming a doctor was about learning to treat a disease, it doesn't matter where you gained the knowledge, or where you treated the patient. fair enough. so can we just treat the west and think ourselves as having served mankind. with the number of indian doctors migrating abroad soon they will have one doctor for every 50-60 people. wonderful... almost like 'disease would be eradicated', what to talk of a handfull of the ones we've been after for sometime now. and in india and the like there will still be doctors, much fewer in numb...

i often think... how the world would be if each person did excatly what they're meant do, exactly how it's meant to be done. now the loophole here lies in the very idea of 'what one's meant to do'... they don't make it very clear when we come into life in the first place. ther're r certain thins that after we're 3-4 years old we can do quite reflexly, eat , breathe, sleep, etc etc.. it's the 'what one does' that we screw up. firstly, we're never really sure what we would like to do... secondly, when we do set our minds to one job, we get swayed either by the prospects of greener pastures or by colleagues. so in an attempt to cope with our wishes and desires and the social system... the work at hand is never done the way it's meant to be done; let alone discovering what we are really meant to be doing!!

sometimes it seems life is revolving around other people. everywhere i go... there's other people discussing other people. how that one did this, how that one's so 'charsi' (a common term used for someone who likes to really sweat it out at work), how because of someone, someone had to work some extra hours, extra minutes at times, how one doctors better than the other (might mention here i work as an intern at a medical college hospital) and for all other reasons except their professional skills being taken into account.. blah blah, blah... truthfully, i am appalled most of the time... how can they just go on the whole day analysing everyone else but themselves. it seems they live out of their bodies... in the lives of others. yet at other times i get a little panicky, since i dont analyse others as much as i do myself, may be i'm the one who's stupid, being the odd one out. at one level i know i'm right somewhere, and at another level it's just another...

till about 2 years ago a friend maintained a blog quite religiously. i was always impressed with the content, unique and thought provoking. i never thought of keeing one then since i never felt the need to really have any inferences from and opinions on life. i used to have a lot of this stuff back in school, but as i stepped into the 'big-bad world' it seemed unnecessary coz the only thing to do was to live it through... so why waste time and thought. now methinks that to be a stupid concept i held. now i don't. so the need for a blog now... (i think the most important driving force is still the fact that i can't keep a diary..!!) to jot down my ideas, for mostly my own good, in the process of understanding this life and the inhabitants of earth a tad bit better... coz the look of bewilderment on my face needs make up!