the think tank

i often think... how the world would be if each person did excatly what they're meant do, exactly how it's meant to be done. now the loophole here lies in the very idea of 'what one's meant to do'... they don't make it very clear when we come into life in the first place. ther're r certain thins that after we're 3-4 years old we can do quite reflexly, eat , breathe, sleep, etc etc.. it's the 'what one does' that we screw up. firstly, we're never really sure what we would like to do... secondly, when we do set our minds to one job, we get swayed either by the prospects of greener pastures or by colleagues. so in an attempt to cope with our wishes and desires and the social system... the work at hand is never done the way it's meant to be done; let alone discovering what we are really meant to be doing!!

sometimes it seems life is revolving around other people. everywhere i go... there's other people discussing other people. how that one did this, how that one's so 'charsi' (a common term used for someone who likes to really sweat it out at work), how because of someone, someone had to work some extra hours, extra minutes at times, how one doctors better than the other (might mention here i work as an intern at a medical college hospital) and for all other reasons except their professional skills being taken into account.. blah blah, blah... truthfully, i am appalled most of the time... how can they just go on the whole day analysing everyone else but themselves. it seems they live out of their bodies... in the lives of others. yet at other times i get a little panicky, since i dont analyse others as much as i do myself, may be i'm the one who's stupid, being the odd one out. at one level i know i'm right somewhere, and at another level it's just another...

till about 2 years ago a friend maintained a blog quite religiously. i was always impressed with the content, unique and thought provoking. i never thought of keeing one then since i never felt the need to really have any inferences from and opinions on life. i used to have a lot of this stuff back in school, but as i stepped into the 'big-bad world' it seemed unnecessary coz the only thing to do was to live it through... so why waste time and thought. now methinks that to be a stupid concept i held. now i don't. so the need for a blog now... (i think the most important driving force is still the fact that i can't keep a diary..!!) to jot down my ideas, for mostly my own good, in the process of understanding this life and the inhabitants of earth a tad bit better... coz the look of bewilderment on my face needs make up!